When my son was turning 8, we were planning his birthday party and it wasn’t going well. He was wanting a party at an expensive location and I was thinking at home with some activities. He was thinking ordering a cake from a bakery and I was thinking a homemade cake. He was thinking an expensive gift and I was thinking that financially things were getting out of hand.
I decided to turn this into a learning opportunity. I gave him a budget for his birthday. I told him we could spend $150 on his birthday – and that amount included his present. He could choose what he wanted to do and what he wanted for a gift. But his budget was $150.
We started talking about the options and how much they cost. If we went to a roller skating rink it would cost $90. A cake from the bakery would be $20. Party favors would cost another $20. That would leave $20 for a gift. I told him that would be fine. It was totally up to him.
But this got him thinking. Maybe a party at home wouldn’t be bad and then there would be more money left for his gift. We talked about some games we could play, and we also decided to go sledding. We talked about the different ingredients we could add to a box cake to make it even more delicious, and he decided that would also be good. We started looking at what we could serve for lunch – did we want to order pizza, or did we want to serve hot dogs and french fries? We priced it out and he decided hot dogs were the way to go.
The day of the party arrived. It snowed enough to make sledding a lot of fun. The kids liked the hot dogs and fries, and the cake was good too. A couple of parents said they thought it was a good idea.
I have used this strategy as a parent many times. When it was time to go back to school shopping, I gave my kids a budget. They could decide if they want to buy the more expensive jeans and less money on shirts. It may not have been my choice and I had to live with their decision. But we went shopping together without fighting about how the money should be spent. We both had to live with their decisions. My most recent use of this strategy was for my daughter’s high school graduation party. Because of COVID we didn’t have a party. This strategy has made my life much easier as a parent. I was able to enjoy planning different events and avoid a lot of arguments.
