My son just sent me a series of texts. He is going to his first adulting job. He is nervous, scared and feeling a little lost. To sum it up – he is stressed.
I texted him that feeling stressed is a good thing. It means you are growing as a person. Unfortunately, growth is not always a comfortable feeling. He replied with thanks mom – you always know what to say.
I took a moment to glow in his words and gave myself a pat on the back for being a good mom. And then I decided to mom myself and think about those words for myself. Am I feeling good stress – stress from growth? Or am I absorbing other people’s stress and worrying about things I can’t control?
Oh, yeah, it’s that last thing. I spend my time and energy focusing on the problems of others. It’s so dumb. So how can I stop? I did what any semi-educated American would do – I googled it. I asked how do I stop – and absorbing other people’s stress came up as an option. So glad others do this as well. I was hoping for some pithy formula to help me stop doing this. And I found them. I was encouraged to find personal space, establish boundaries, meditate, and do yoga. And then I read this –
When we stop absorbing unwanted emotions, we are free to focus on other things. We can use our new- found energy to accomplish the dreams and goals we set out for ourselves. We are free to move through the world in a new, empowering way. A way that allows us to use this unique gift to our benefit—which ultimately will benefit the world.
And I realized I probably absorb other’s stress as an excuse for not working on my own growth – because working on my own growth is much scarier than thinking about what others should do. And that was a pretty sucky realization.
But knowledge is power. I can use this information to move forward in a new way. I can start establishing boundaries and really use them. I can remember my why – to focus on keeping my energy to accomplish my own dreams and goals. And I can the feel good stress of my own creation.
