Trying to get your child to do what you want is a challenge for every parent. Here are 5 easy hacks you can use to make your life a little easier.
- Offer Your Child a Choice – When my daughter was two, I would pull out an outfit for her to wear. Of course, she wanted something else. So, I started pulling out 2 options that were both acceptable to me and asked her to pick one. This saved a lot of arguing. I made sure she was appropriately dressed for the weather, and she had some control. My daughter is now 18. I still use this. If I have a job I would like her to do I tell her, “I need some help today. Would you like to do this or that?” She knows she is going to have to do one of them, and, again, offering her a choice gives her some control over her time and energy.
- Give Praise and Appreciation for the Behavior You Want – I teach Prekindergarten and I get frustrated when I have a group of kids who aren’t doing what I asked. So, I find the kids who are doing what I asked and say “I love how Olivia is looking at a book.” And I keep going until I have praised everyone who is doing what I asked. The kids race to get a book so they can be praised as well. When your kids are older you can still use this hack by saying thank you for the things they do – when you show appreciation they will be more likely to do those things again. I have found this also works with my husband and he does this for me.
- Ignore the Behavior You Don’t Want – This isn’t always an option. Poor behavior should be addressed. But sometimes a child is just trying to get your attention, and they don’t care if your attention is positive or negative. I have a little one in my class who smiles when I am frustrated with her choices. I have worked hard to find her kryptonite. When she is making poor choices I very briefly let her know what the consequence will be if she continues. And then I follow through.
- Have Them Clean their Own Messes – It’s amazing how much neater kids are if they know they will have to pick up and clean up after themselves. Yes, it’s much faster if you do it yourself. But they will learn that if they just go slow enough, you will do it for them. Don’t let that happen. If you must help, offer a choice. These things need to be cleaned – which one do they want to do, you will help by doing the other (see #1).
- Be a Good Example of What You Want Them to Do – If you want your child to do certain things, you have to make sure you are doing them as well. For example, if you would like them to put away their phone when you are talking to them, you need to set down your phone when they are talking to you. If you are unable to listen at that moment, tell them you want to hear what they have to say but you are in the middle of something – can they wait a minute? Or 30 minutes? If they point out to you that are not doing what you are asking of them, admit that you could do better and then do better.
Give these hacks a try and simplify your life!
